Put a handle on it.

If you donsa国际传媒檛 know what that means, you might not call elders by sa国际传媒淢r.,sa国际传媒� sa国际传媒滿isssa国际传媒� or sa国际传媒淢rs.,sa国际传媒� insist that your children do the same or demand it for yourself. If yousa国际传媒檝e heard the term, yousa国际传媒檙e likely familiar with the history of the politics of respectability and what that means to some African-Americans, pro and con.

Are you from the North or the South? A small town or big city native? From a religious, school or immigrant community that uses elder honorifics? Perhaps yousa国际传媒檙e Professor, Doctor or Judge.

All of the above were widely debated on social media last week, focused on an old talk-show clip of the late Maya Angelou sharply chiding a young woman for addressing her as Maya rather than Miss Angelou before asking the poet and memoirist for her views on interracial marriage.

sa国际传媒淚sa国际传媒檓 not sa国际传媒楳aya.sa国际传媒� Isa国际传媒檓 62 years old. I have lived so long and tried so hard that a young woman like you, or any other, you have no license to come up to me and call me by my first name. Thatsa国际传媒檚 first,sa国际传媒� she said to claps from the audience. sa国际传媒淎lso, because at the same time, I am your mother, I am your auntie, Isa国际传媒檓 your teacher, Isa国际传媒檓 your professor. You see?sa国际传媒�

Angelou apologized later in the show to her questioner.

Pierre Phipps, who tweeted the snippet, has heard from all sides since then and said opinions are varied and plentiful. After his March 14 tweet sent Angelousa国际传媒檚 name trending on Twitter, Phipps said the Kim in the clip reached out.

Turns out shesa国际传媒檚 Kim Watts, 49, an educator in the San Francisco Bay Area. Watts told The Associated Press by phone Wednesday that she doesnsa国际传媒檛 have a Twitter account but friends and family alerted her to the hub-bub. She said she was a 20-year-old college student in 1989 when she went on a class trip to San Francisco to sit in the audience for a taping with Angelou of the talk show sa国际传媒淧eople are Talking.sa国际传媒�

sa国际传媒淗er response threw me off. It was a little awkward for me, but at the same time it was like, oh my God this is Maya Angelou,sa国际传媒� Watts said. sa国际传媒淚 remember feeling like, oh my gosh I insulted one of my icons, a person I look up to.sa国际传媒�

Watts said she got a kick out of people new the clip thinking she was still a teen.

The 29-year-old Phipps, whose Twitter handle is @PrinceCharmingP, cansa国际传媒檛 remember where he found the vintage exchange when he tweeted it out.

I cansa国际传媒檛 wait to turn 30 so I can read one of yall for calling me by my first name like this:

sa国际传媒� Mr. Girth of a Nation (@PrinceCharmingP)

He told the AP in an interview that he was surprised at the attention the tweet has received, especially among young people who disagreed with Angelou. She died in 2014 at age 86, and also favoured the title Dr. in light of her numerous honorary doctorates.

sa国际传媒淭hey think Miss Angelousa国际传媒檚 response was very elitist. They were really, really pissed about it,sa国际传媒� said Phipps, who lives in Los Angeles and writes for television. sa国际传媒淲esa国际传媒檙e living in progressive times and a lot of people said once they turn 18, they feel like they have an even platform no matter how old you are. History is no longer playing a part in how we go about our everyday lives. History is becoming history.sa国际传媒�

Phipps grew up in Chicago, but he has plenty of older female relatives from the South, including Mississippi and Alabama.

sa国际传媒淚tsa国际传媒檚 an unwritten rule on respect for elders in which a lot of us were born and raised to sa国际传媒榩ut a handle on it,sa国际传媒檚a国际传媒� he said. sa国际传媒淢e personally, coming from a strong black Southern family, I didnsa国际传媒檛 see anything wrong with her response. Everyone is raised differently.sa国际传媒�

Watts, who was adopted as a child by white parents, said she was not raised with the courtesy title tradition or practice for elders in her life.

sa国际传媒淚 wasnsa国际传媒檛 thinking about that in the moment,sa国际传媒� she said of her encounter with Angelou. sa国际传媒淚 like that this conversation, though, is focused on respect. Given my age now, I can see both sides of it.sa国际传媒�

Carrie Salow is a 55-year-old mother of two girls in Phoenix, where she moved from Grand Rapids, Michigan, when she was 15.

sa国际传媒淚 absolutely expect my teen daughters to call their friendssa国际传媒� parents Mr. and Mrs., and I expect the same,sa国际传媒� said Salow, who is white. sa国际传媒淭he kids who live across the street from us are now young adults, in and out of college. They still call me Mrs. Salow and I feel it is appropriate.sa国际传媒�

Valencia Bey, 49, was born and raised in Chicago and now lives in nearby Oak Park, Illinois. She spent most of her summers in Shelby, Mississippi, with her maternal grandparents and extended family.

sa国际传媒淵ou just did NOT call elders by their first name,sa国际传媒� said Bey, who is black. sa国际传媒淚 was taught by folks who felt the way Ms. Angelou did. Addressing someone as Mr. or Miss was a sign of respect, especially those who came from the Jim Crow South, where calling a grown black person by their first name was a sign of disrespect. White people would purposely not call them Mr. or Mrs. or Miss to reinforce that they were considered inferior.sa国际传媒�

Against the backdrop of African-American history, such honorifics are heavy indeed.

sa国际传媒淟ike Angelou, our elders have lived lives some of us can only imagine, especially if they grew up in a society that was founded on white supremacy,sa国际传媒� wrote Britni Danielle, in a piece about the tweet at Essence online.

sa国际传媒淥ften times, they werensa国际传媒檛 given the respect they were due by the outside world, which regularly sought to humiliate and dehumanize them at every turn. Those who did dare speak up and demand their propers did so knowing the price could be steep,sa国际传媒� she wrote.

The 55-year-old Lucy Osa国际传媒橠onnell, with a nearly 18-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old son in Los Angeles, was raised in Arlington, Virginia.

sa国际传媒淭wo of my daughtersa国际传媒檚 friends initially addressed me as Mrs., and I have to say I hadnsa国际传媒檛 even given it a thought until then. I told them that they were welcome to call me by my first name but that if it was important in their households to address adults more formally that was fine, too,sa国际传媒� said Osa国际传媒橠onnell, who is white. sa国际传媒淏oth switched to Lucy pretty quickly. The only tradition I cansa国际传媒檛 abide is Mrs. and a husbandsa国际传媒檚 first and last name.sa国际传媒�

Danielle acknowledged young blacks responding to Phippssa国际传媒� tweet who thought Angelou was out of line, writing:

sa国际传媒淲e live in a time where some people donsa国际传媒檛 really value the things and people who came before them. Thatsa国际传媒檚 how we get shirts declaring, sa国际传媒業sa国际传媒檓 not my ancestors,sa国际传媒� or people looking to cancel dead Black writers like Angelou because they do not like an answer theysa国际传媒檇 given decades ago without understanding the context of the times.sa国际传媒�

Leanne Italie, The Associated Press

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